o, my soul

below is a reflection on the cross, Jesus’ few words there, and the unrelenting struggle to find hope and strength in the midst of the deepest despair, when it seems as though hell is swallowing you whole and death has permeated your bones. it was birthed at this time last year, in the midst of my own darkness and despair. i hope it speaks to anyone else who is likewise learning to walk in the dark.

o, my soul

wilts neath what’s left of my flesh and bones

and i can barely breathe

o, my lungs

pierced liked a spear in my side

God, where have you gone

and i’m left here alone

upon this forsaken tree

why have you forsaken me?

have you forsaken me?

o, my heart

gently ripped from my chest

laid bare before me

o, my God,

i long for you now, and i wait . . .

where have you gone,

and i’m here alone

upon this forsaken tree

why have you forsaken me?

have you forsaken me?

even still,

though angels of death surround,

my love, my life

into your hands i commit.

though my lungs may fail

and my breathing cease

though my eyes go blind

and i no longer see

even still, even still

your blood will run through me

weaving webs of eternity

delicately holding me

o, can this really be,

that in death there is peace?

o, my God,

i stand here and wait for you

i will wait for you

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